Executive Coaching Blog
4 Easy Tips to Bring Happiness in Our Life
So many times we find ourselves constantly focused on that next big challenge in life whether it be a promotion, a companion, a bigger house, a newer car or any number of our individual desires that we wind up missing out on finding true happiness by practicing equanimity in life. We consistently put off those things that would bring true happiness in our efforts to obtain that distant goal. We tell ourselves, “When I achieve X, then I will finally be happy.” while disregarding those things around us that could actually make us happy today.
A great resource to determine what it is that drives our ego, and in many cases creates a great deal of our stress, is the work of Eckhart Tolle. Digging into the concept of “Now,” Tolle shines some solid light on how our ego tends to get in the way of finding our equanimity. We want to understand what our individual happiness looks and feels like. Many times we get down on ourselves for mistakes we may have made in the past or achievements in the future we have not yet accomplished. Although it is good to have an accurate self image of where we have been and where we’re going, we could decide not to let that add additional stress to our pursuit of being happy. Being truly happy results when we recognize who we are, what we have accomplished, how abundant we already are and are satisfied with what we have experienced. If we are in a constant search for being happy more often, we will not allow ourselves to acknowledge and celebrate what we have and be truly happy about our accomplishments. A fact of life is that we are promised tomorrow, so worrying about what may come up in the future will also create the potential for a more stressful life full of fear and frustration. The past offers experiences and learning only. Worrying about what has been done in the past will not change it. We are perfect and unique human beings; mistakes are opportunities to grow. That being said, we could choose to reflect on those experiences to expand the amount of equanimity we feel in life.
One of the biggest drivers of having less stress and more equanimity in life is the attitude we bring to any situation. Understanding that we have the choice to react or to respond will change not only the outcome but our level of energy. Those who tend to have a more positive attitude by choice are usually perceived as being much happier. Being able to genuinely appreciate the moments of your life will lessen your stress and increase your ability to be happy.
Working on our awareness of our attitude in life and our understanding of what makes us happy will give us the ability to identify our inner ambitions and desires and be able to let go of the need to control them. Instead we may find ourselves embracing new opportunities. Ultimately, if we love the skin we are in, it will allow us to love others as well and find some much wanted equanimity. This will also help us keep our ego in check as we see people on the same level as we see ourselves and also be at peace with that. One of the best questions we can ask ourselves is from A Course of Miracles; “Do we want to be right, or do we want to be happy?” Basically, are our relationships with others more important than the issues being discussed? In the end, it is those we know who will shape us far more than what is it we know.
Transcend our Ego and Lead Ourselves
It is our own individual ego that tends to drive stresses and worries in our lives. Increased worries and stresses will always lead to decreased happiness in life. A great example of this is, say we are driving to work, rocking out to one of our favorite tunes when the motorist in front of us slams on his or her brakes, causing us to follow suit. We spill your coffee, which not only is hot, but will leave a nice stain on our shirt for the rest of the day, and it just so happens we have an 8 a.m. meeting with the boss as soon as we get in. This definitely takes a relaxed drive into work and turns it into a stressful situation as well as sets a foul mood for the rest of our day. At this point, we have the choice to respond by making lemonade out of lemons, or we can stew on it for the remainder of the day, causing much unneeded negativity for us and everyone around us. In these situations, take a quick account of our wins. Although we have a stained shirt and a bit of pain from the hot coffee, other than that we are safe, we were not involved in an accident and we are still on our way to a job that provides us the life we are currently accustomed to living. If we take these words to heart, we will transcend our ego and we will find ourselves a genuinely happy person overall.
One of the more famous proverbs to make its way out of China reads, “When you cease in seeking happiness, you will find it.”