Compassion Toward Ourselves to Bring More Compassion to Others

What is compassion? Human beings have been contemplating the true meaning of it for many thousands of years. Throughout the ages, philosophers and poets have applied many views and interpretations toward the concept, yet it is a consistent theme in all of humanity’s striving. As a leader who wishes to exhibit and encourage compassion, I have often wondered about the right way to demonstrate it to others and help them heal. It is not always easy to practice compassionate feelings when one feels challenged by the circumstances of life. Like so many of the good things within us, it requires mindfulness to model a compassionate worldview through our actions. For that reason, the dictionary definition of this concept is only a start when it comes to really knowing it well. The generic definition is as follows: “A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”

compassion at work | Equanimity ExecutiveWhen we think about compassion, it is easy and obvious to think about it in relationship to others. As soon as one turns on the news, it is easy to become inundated with images of strife from all around the world. Of course, directing compassionate thought towards others is a critical part of celebrating our common humanity. However, it is not the only facet with which we must be familiar in order to realize our potential for self leadership. Is it possible to be truly compassionate toward others if we are constantly inflicting shame, doubt and blame upon ourselves for our honest mistakes? Many people who consider themselves successful are able to recognize the need to be compassionate toward everyone around them but themselves. This leads to strife and internal conflict when we do not do what is necessary to alleviate our own suffering.

It is not selfish to practice self-directed compassionate behavior. On the contrary, it gives us the sense of self leadership that empowers us to heal others. An important part of this is releasing feelings of guilt that accumulate over the course of life. It is not helpful to constantly gaze longingly toward the past. Whatever resources, knowledge or abilities you have now, you cannot project them into the past. You must demonstrate self leadership to accept yourself both as you were and as you are. When you take this step, you will begin to heal and other aspects of your potential will unfold. You will find it easier to place yourself in situations where you are surrounded by the people and things you love. This provides you with the energy to truly resonate with others and serve as a guiding light in their times of need. It allows us to find within ourselves the reserve of strength we need to reach out to others and offer unselfish help on their journey.

The workplace might seem like one of the most difficult places in which to practice true positive sentiments. It is true that there are some workplaces that are draining and toxic. We must come to understand that this is due to a lack of compassion and is not a reason to shun it ourselves. By making a principled choice to represent compassionate behavior in the workplace, we can begin the process of positive change. For this, we must be aware that change is tied to action. Listening to others, refraining from judging them and offering our help when we can are all compassionate acts we can undertake at work. Recognizing the leadership potential of others and helping them cultivate their unique talents are compassionate acts that follow from the above. As we work toward greater and more consistent positivism at work, we naturally inspire humane and compassionate ethics. In doing so, we motivate others to believe in their own potential and to use love to counteract the fear, distress and malaise that can darken workplaces. 

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Response to Change #5: Non-Judgement & Embracement

Your response to change may be to embrace it and to create opportunity.

First, do not hold on an assumption based on one negative experience. Use your self leadership skills as a building block for future experiences. Each new situation may bring totally different outcomes if you embrace each new situation without preconceived ideas.

Transformative events occur in your daily life and should be met without any judgments.

Use your intuition to guide you as you experience immense personal growth.

You will be able to live life without fear and relate deeply to those around you.

Create Opportunity | Self-Leadership

Create the Opportunity and Embrace Change.

You have the choice NOW to embrace every moment as it arrives. Each experience is an opportunity to grow as a person and live life more fully. You are able to enjoy being a part of the whole workplace and humanity as you experience this new manner of thinking and existence.

Even in crises, change creates opportunities for each of us as individual, organization and as a nation.

 

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Busy at Work and Still Bored?

Mark de Rond in his article  about being busy at work and still feel bored gives perspectives to many people who find themselves in the exact same situation. These individuals feel lucky to have a job or a career that anyone would want, but they still feel unfulfilled or unsatisfied wondering what is wrong with them.

Luck is mentioned in the article; it doesn’t appear to me to be the reason which led Mark to make his life purposeful.  At some point he felt bored, acknowledged this feeling then chose to respond according to what was in his best interest as a human being. He found himself at a place where he had confidence in his abilities and his potential. In addition, he took responsibility as well to tell his boss, the only luck he (maybe) had was to have him to listen and to support him in his journey.

Mark made actually a very good point by talking about the ego piece. Many people experiencing success at work and in life for a period of time. Suddenly “the key to a meaningful life — at work and elsewhere — lies in turning our focus from ourselves to “the other” “. Indeed, when basics needs are met and that we have confidence in our abilities, our ego lessens in our mind it lets larger space for reflection. We then look for greater purpose for ourselves, our families and our organizations and we turn naturally ourselves to others.

It is an article that I will definitely share with clients to illustrate some of situations they experience. It will certainly bring light to many of them.

Reflection and exploration of what you really want will lead to enthusiasm and excitment. 

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3 Essential Qualities To Make Sustainable Changes

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”-Mahatma Gandhi

From presidential candidates to the average main street citizen, change is in the air. At some point, everyone wants to make a change. The people that surround us in our community like friends, relatives, coworkers and politicians are all talking about the miraculous effect of making a sustainable change. As nations and organizations strive towards changing their image and manner of operating, they need to keep the concepts of courage, commitment and self-mastery at the forefront of their minds. Without these skills, people can never take the first step towards a sustainable difference in how they live their lives. To reach common goals, the first step is the most difficult one and distractions are in abundance, but these values can help individuals and corporations to stay the course and affect a dramatic difference in their lives. Understanding how courage, commitment and self-mastery transform the individual and bring about a change enables us to lead ourselves, our organization and even our nations to success.

Courage

Winston Churchill once said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen”. It takes a great deal of personal courage to be able to transform oneself and start on the task of transforming an organization or a community. Young Kevin Kay, a Maryland high school student who won the 2011 National John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Essay Contest, knew the value of courage well. He wrote his essay on the story of John B. Orr, Junior. John B. Orr was a representative from Florida in the 1950s that stood up for what he believed in.

During this time period, the Supreme Court ruled on the case of Brown v. the Board of Education. Schools in Florida were set to be desegregated and legislators were rushing to figure out ways around the desegregation process. When it came time to vote on the proposition, every legislator in the room voted for the proposition while only John B. Orr, Jr. voted against it. In his twenty minute speech explaining his vote, he railed against supporting an immoral act just because that is the way things had always been. Two elections later, he lost his seat to a Southern supremacist, but his impact remained. Due to his influence, the eventual desegregation of Florida schools was
able to take place.

The courage he faced in his upwards battle against segregation is an inspiration for others to take. After he voted against segregation, people called his house with death threats and burned crosses in his yard. Yet, John B. Orr J. persevered. This kind of courage is an example for ordinary people of what can be accomplished if you have the bravery to stand up for what you believe in despite the challenges. Having courage to achieve your dreams and effect change creates a momentum that leads to success. This success comes from achieving the goal set for yourself or your organization. Success has many definitions for different individuals, organizations and communities.What is yours?

Commitment

Creating a goal and having the courage to follow through is the first part of changing your life. To create a sustainable change, an individual or organization must demonstrate a commitment to their purpose. IKEA is one of the many examples of a company who stove to commit themselves to their core values. They chose to demonstrate responsibility to the environment and to their community rather than just sell home furnishings. Along the way, IKEA managed to reduce their carbon footprint and help create more sustainable forestry practices. According to the Sacramento Bee, “IKEA Canada is committed to contributing to the company’s Global direction to reduce the amount of emissions associated with its business operations. To symbolize their action against climate change, IKEA Canada is participating in the Earth Hour campaign for the fourth consecutive year. The annual campaign is a global call to action to turn out lights for one hour at 8:30 p.m. on Saturday, March 31, 2012.”(Source The Sacramento Bee). The commitment they show to sustainable business practices has led to the success of their company and a strong business model that other companies seek to emulate.

Self Mastery

As King Louis XIV once said, “There is little that can withstand a man who can conquer himself.” Someone who has the ability to master their own mind and purpose can put those skills to use in the world around them. This kind of person resonates with success. Their mindset attracts the right people, places and opportunities without trying. By being able to conquer their own soul, they are able to take advantage of every opportunity that comes their way without fear or hesitation. Many people practice and study various arts and become almost a master at their studies, yet the only thing you can truly conquer is yourself. Each person has the opportunity in their life to become more attune with who they are and confident in their own personality. This skill is at once one of the easiest and most difficult. Self-mastery enables you to make the most out of your mental, physical and spiritual health. Before you can help others, you must first help yourself. Each person has their own personality and unique design. At its core, this being is perfect. By learning how to tap into this core personality, we can unleash our gifts upon the world. When you can share your gift with the world, you can be considered a self-master. It does not matter what you do or how much; it matters who you are and how you express yourself. Stop trying to be who you are not and become who you are. Self-Mastery means living an abundant, fulfilled and enjoyable life. A self-master is in control without ever having to control anyone else. You become the cause instead of the effect of your life and resonate at a high frequency of energy that attracts everything you could want in your life. With little or no effort, the path of change and self-mastery can be found by even the most unlikely of persons. Live life the way it was meant to and become the master of your fate.

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How Coaching Helps Release from the Chains of Technology Se liberer des chaines de la technologie grace au coaching

Matthieu Scherrer, chief editor of the French magazine Management sets the tone in its edito “to isolate itself in its bubble to stop lounging “. Frank Esser, the boss of SFR, uncontested leader advocates the isolation chosen from any technology to simply reconnect with his co-workers or get down to a complex task. The magazine prepared a special file which addresses executives, leaders, but also each employee. I take the opportunity to share with you a brief summary of the issue of January.

Christophe André, psychiatrist, notices that we use more and more information channels which produce constant interruptions. “The periods of peace, slowness and continuity split” too, which becomes a problem in the organizations and in our daily life, because it is during these periods of peace, slowness and of continuity we develop our reasoning, our ideas but also our creativity from where results the innovation. In every interruption (email, SMS, twit, phone call, vibrator) we need 64 seconds to re-connect with our task or our idea!! Incredible! While we take into account the fact that 65 % of the French employees verify their emails every 5 minutes and that our time of conscious attention is only 20 minutes per hour.

By being more concentrated how many of us would be more effective? Imagine having the opportunity to focus on a conversation with somebody more than 2 minutes without being interrupted by your telephone, blackberry or an email, what quality of life would you have? What would be the productivity of your employees? How many decisions would be already taken and in phase of implementation?

How to release us from those chains of the technology? The liberation comes from the awareness. In the current situation we are literally bombarded by the information, we are ceaselessly stimulated, we live in the urgency leaving no more place to the calm, to the silence and thus little place space on second thought which would allow us to manage more effectively our life, to respond instead of reacting in order to prioritize and to create choices.

The Coaching or personalized accompaniment of the individual develops because people needs to step back, to re-connect with their Core, with reflection and creativity which are part of each of us.

First, a tool used to accompany poor performance, Coaching became a tool of the elite reserved for our executives and leaders, nowadays coaching specialized and available at each level.

The coach besides accompanying the professional and personal development of the individual is also the means to know individual paces among which the rhythm of sleep, the hours of better productivity (Laure Cailloce’s article p36 of the magazine), and also to identify feelings and reactions, as well as to learn to live in aligned with our Core Self and with others in any situations.Matthieu Scherrer, rédacteur en chef du magazine Management donne le ton dans son edito “S’isoler dans sa bulle pour arrêter de buller”. Frank Esser, le patron de SFR, leader incontesté prône l’isolement choisi de toute technologie afin de connecter avec ses collaborateurs ou de s’atteler à une tâche complexe. Le magazine a préparé un dossier spécial qui s’adresse aux cadres, aux dirigeants, mais aussi à tout salarié. Je profite de l’occasion pour partager avec vous un résumé succinct du numéro de ce mois de Janvier.

Christophe André , psychiatre, constate que nous utilisons de plus en plus de canaux qui produisent des interruptions constantes. “Les périodes de calme, de lenteur et de continuité se fractionnent” elles aussi, ce qui est devient un problème dans le fonctionnement des entreprises et dans la vie de tout un chacun, car ce sont durant ces périodes de calme, de lenteurs et de continuité que nous développons notre raisonnement, nos idées mais aussi notre créativité d’où provient l’innovation. A chaque interruption (email, sms, twit, coup de tél, vibreur…) il nous faut 64 secondes pour reconnecter avec notre tâche ou notre idée!! Incroyable quand on tient compte du fait que 65% des salariés français vérifient leurs emails toutes les 5 minutes et que notre temps d’attention consciente par heure n’est que de 20 minutes.

En étant plus concentrés combien d’entre nous seraient plus efficaces? Imaginez avoir la possibilité de vous focaliser sur une conversation avec quelqu’un plus de 2 minutes sans être interrompu par votre téléphone, blackberry ou un email, quelle qualité de vie auriez-vous? Quelles seraient la productivité de vos employés? Combien de décisions seraient déjà prise et en phase d’implémentation?

Comment faire pour nous libérer des chaînes de la technologie me demanderont certains ? La libération vient de la prise de conscience. Dans les conditions actuelles où nous sommes littéralement bombardés par l’information, nous sommes sans cesse stimulé, nous vivons dans l’urgence ne laissant plus de place au calme, au silence et donc très peu de place à la réflexion qui nous permettrait de gérer plus efficacement notre vie, de répondre au lieu de réagir et de se donner des priorités.

Le Coaching ou accompagnement personnalisé de l’individu se développe car il y a un besoin d’une prise de recul, de temps pour reconnecter avec Soi, avec sa réflexion et la créativité qui est part de chacun d’entre nous.

Tout d’abord outil de recadrage d’un collaborateur peu performant ou n’atteignant pas ses objectifs, le coaching est devenu un outil de l’élite réservé à nos cadres et dirigeants, puis le coaching s’est spécialisé et se démocratise peu à peu.

Le consultant/coach en plus d’accompagner le développement professionnel et personnel d’un collaborateur est aussi le moyen de connaître son rythme individuel parmi lesquels le rythme de sommeil, les heures de meilleures productivité (article de Laure Cailloce p36 du magazine), d’identifier ses émotions et ses réactions, ainsi que d’apprendre à vivre en harmonie avec soi-même et avec les autres en toutes situations.

Visiter www.equanimityexecutive.com pour de plus amples informations.

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The Stress of the Holiday SeasonLe Stress des Fetes de Fin D annee…

Facts about the Holiday Season…

The Holidays will start with Thanksgiving, as usual on a Thursday. For many of us starts the stress of the Holiday Season.The Stress of the Holiday Season | Executive Coaching
Some of us will drive long hours on hostile highways, others will accommodate members of their family for several days sometimes stretching their budget, while others will stay at home alone; they rather not to visit their relatives because of a dispute, a lack of money or else. All of these will mostly result in stress.

How many of us do remember this particular event because of a difficult conversation with an in Law or a miscommunication about who will prepare the dinner?

How stressful is it already for you and your family? Very much, uh!!!

What makes you think that it has to be a stressful event this year again?

• Past experience: “My Mom do not like to cook, I will have to”,
• Fear: “I am not comfortable flying to my parents this year”,
• Limiting belief: “My new in Laws are very different from me because they are X, Y, Z”
• Interpretation: “Last year, Ron told me that he did not like my pie, he doesn’t like me”
The Stress of the Holiday Season | What is Coaching?

 

 

 

 

 

What would it take to make this event as meaningful and joyful as we expect it?

Our intention!

It seems to be an easy thing to say, is not it? It is as well an easy thing to do if you think about it. We all have the power to make this day a peaceful and meaningful event. We may decide this year to look at this date as a wonderful opportunity to celebrate our success with our family, relatives and friends, to be grateful for what we have and for each experience and every person who crossed our path.
Let us visualize ourselves already at this particular moment or situation that we apprehend, and then let us imagine that you may simply rewrite the scene like we were the producer of a show.

How would we like to rewrite this scene? What does it look like (using all our senses: smell, touch, hearing, taste, sight)? What would we say? What would your family or relatives would say? What would we do? How good would we feel at this particular moment? Let’s hold on this feeling for a moment.

Now, we may determine our intention!

I would suggest us to write down what we did experience through this 3 to 5 minutes scenario and to keep our findings with us through the Holiday week end with the intention to make it happens!

Please share your Past Stressful experience and/ or your Stress Free Thanksgiving experience with us on our blog, you may remain anonymous 😉

We wish you a Safe and Stress Free Thanksgiving.

Les Fêtes de fin d’année commenceront avec Thanksgiving ici aux Etats-Unis, comme d’habitude ce jeudi. Certains de nous conduirons de longues heures sur les routes hostiles, d’autres accommoderont des membres de leur famille pour plusieurs jours mettant quelquefois leur budget à mal, pendant que d’autres resteront seuls à la maison; ils préfèrent ne pas rendre  visite à leurs parents à cause d’une dispute, un manque d’argent ou autre raison valable. Tout cela aura pour résultat du stress et des tensions. Combien d’entre nous se souviennent de cet événement particulier à cause d’une conversation difficile avec un parent ou un de vos beaux-parents ou pour  un manque de communication de qui préparera le dîner ? Comment se manifeste déjà le stress pour vous et votre famille ? Recherche des cadeaux, préparation du menu, organisation du voyage. Cela vous emble-t- il familier ? Certainement !

Qu’est ce qui vous fait penser que ce doit être un événement stressant cette année encore ?

• Expérience Passée : « Ma Maman n’aime pas cuisiner, j’aurai à le faire »,

• la Crainte : « Je ne suis pas à l’aise car je dois prendre l’avion pour rendre visite à mes parents cette année »,

• Limitant la conviction : « Mon nouveau dans Lois est très différent de moi parce qu’ils sont X, Y, Z »

• l’Interprétation :« L’an dernier, ton Oncle Pierre m’a dit qu’il n’a pas aimé ma tarte, il ne m’aime pas »

Que peut-on faire pour que cet événement soit aussi significatif et joyeux que nous le souhaitons ?

Notre intention !

Cela semble être une chose facile à dire, n’est-ce pas ? C’est aussi une chose facile à faire si vous y pensez un moment. Nous avons tous la possibilité de faire de cette période un événement paisible et mémorable. Nous pouvons décider cette année de regarder cette période comme une occasion merveilleuse de célébrer notre réussite avec notre famille, nos parents et nos amis, être reconnaissant de ce que nous avons et reconnaissant aussi pour chaque expérience vécue et chaque personne qui a croisé notre chemin.

Pensons silencieusement à ce moment ou dans la situation particulière que nous appréhendons, et maintenant donnons nous la permission de réécrire la scène dans notre esprit tout simplement comme si nous étions le producteur d’une pièce.

Comment aimerions-nous réécrire cette scène ? De quoi a-t-elle l’air  (utilisons tous nos sens : l’odorat, le toucher, l’ouïe , le goût, la vue) ? Que dirions-nous ? Comment réagiraient nos proches? Que ferions-nous ? A quel point nous sentirions nous paisible et heureux à ce moment particulier ? Maintenant profitez de cette sensation un moment.

Maintenant, nous pouvons déterminer notre intention !

Je nous suggère de noter ce que nous avons éprouvé durant ces 3 à 5 minutes de scénario et garder nos émotions présentes avec nous durant cette période des Fêtes de Fin d’Année avec l’intention de recréer cette scène et ces émotions !

N’hésitez pas à partager avec nous votre expérience Sans Stress de ces Fêtes S’il sur notre blog, vous pouvez rester anonyme 😉

Nous vous souhaitons d’Excellentes Fêtes.

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